Many factors contribute to career, business, and personal success, but there are 5 essential skills that successful people learn and practice regularly. If you want to boost your ability to reach your career and personal goals, these are the 5 essential skills you need to know!
Meeting your career and personal goals while overcoming obstacles and pitfalls can be challenging, and if you are anything like me, you are also searching for the keys to success! Although I have not found all of the keys, I have found a few. I found that successful people narrow their focus and ensure they have the skills they need before starting a plan or project.
Focusing on these 5 essential skills for success will boost your ability to set realistic goals, overcome obstacles and meet your professional and personal goals!
5 Essential Skills for Success
1. Decision-making is an essential skill that includes critical thinking and analysis.
Successful people are skilled decision-makers that use a combination of these techniques to gather information, generate and evaluate options, use prudent judgment, and make good decisions:
- Research
- Inquiry
- Analysis
- Critical Thinking
- Evaluation
- Prioritizing
Throughout my life and career (usually, after I made a decision I regretted), I learned to reflect upon my bad decisions and examine what I should and would do differently if I was able to have a do-over. When I started studying the behaviors of successful people, I learned to put more of my time and effort into my decision-making upfront so that I was driving my successful outcomes, instead of putting my brainpower into “after-the-fact” regrets.
Successful people make fewer assumptions and tend to be more inquisitive – they ask friends, family, and mentors a variety of questions, read resource materials, and seek as much information as possible about a subject or situation; they are perpetual learners who consult advisors and take more training to add to their knowledge base, even if they are already considered an expert by others. This research step ensures that successful people uncover relevant information and have a wide array of data to use to make decisions.
Successful people tend to be patient and deliberate in generating and evaluating options – they do not eliminate options until they have turned each option upside down, around, forwards, and backward to see every angle and consider multiple impacts; they include others impacted by the decision in the process; they also apply prudent judgment and think critically when analyzing options. Successful people also prioritize and rank options to make sure that their decisions are guided by factors that are most important to reaching their goals and objectives.
The good news is that most of us are using some of these techniques in our everyday lives, even if we are not aware of them. However, successful people are intentional about using these techniques to their advantage. Take a few minutes to think about one of your life or career goals, and then think about whether you are applying these decision-making skills to make a plan for how you will achieve that goal and make progress toward that goal. If you aren’t, challenge yourself! Try incorporating one or more of these techniques into your decision-making to help you reach your personal and professional goals!
You can find these resources and more on our Success Resources page.
Resource: The Art of Decision Making: 7 Steps to Achieving More Effective Results, Arnold, J.D. (1980).
MindTools Decision Making: How to Make Better Decisions, https://www.mindtools.com/pages/main/newmn_ted.htm
Change Your Questions, Change Your Life, Adams, M., (2022).
2. Emotional Intelligence skills are essential for personal and professional growth.
Successful people have high emotional intelligence and use a combination of these techniques to recognize the impact of their actions upon other people and their environment, and manage relationships:
- Self-Awareness
- Empath
- Active Listening
- Communication
- Flexibility
- External Awareness
Emotional Intelligence is one of those skills that is hard to recognize when it is being used, but easy to identify when it isn’t. We can easily spot a person with low emotional intelligence because they tend to have a self-centered “it’s all about me” view of the world, and do not seem to care or notice when their actions hurt others. Successful people have high emotional intelligence – they seem to always know what to do or say in a situation; they can be assertive without being hostile, and they find a way to meet the needs of others along with their own.
Successful people spend time examining their strengths and weaknesses and work to improve rather than blame their failures on others. They are actively listening to others with concern and empathy (and even if they don’t care, they have the good sense to act as they do). Successful people also actively seek feedback that they incorporate into their decision-making. Successful people also take the time to observe the environment and adopt a “when in Rome” approach to integrating their ideas into their environment. People with lower emotional intelligence adopt a “bull in a China shop” approach and try to impose their ideas, practices, and will upon other people and situations.
Self-awareness is a cornerstone of emotional intelligence. If you would like to improve your emotional intelligence, you can seek out online resources. You can perform an online self-assessment, seek out feedback from trusted friends, family, and advisors regarding your level of empathy, listening, and consideration of others/environment, and ask to have a 360 evaluation at work or opt to get an EQ assessment from an official testing provider.
You can find these resources and more on our Success Resources page.
Resources: Global Leadership Foundation, Emotional Intelligence Test https://globalleadershipfoundation.com/geit/eitest.html;
Psychology Today Emotional Intelligence Test, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/tests/personality/emotional-intelligence-test;
Your Attitude is Showing: A Primer of Human Relations, Chapman, E. N., O’Neil S. (2006)
Attitude: Your Most Priceless Possession, Chapman, E. N. (1990)
What Did You Say: The Art of Giving and Receiving Feedback, Seashore, C. N., Seashore, E. W., Weinberg, G. M. (2003).
3. Conflict Resolution skills are essential for overcoming barriers and finding solutions.
Successful people are skilled problem-solvers – they use these skills to resolve conflicts and remove obstacles to effective communication and progress:
- Growth Mindset
- Communication
- Active Listening
- Flexibility
- Interest-Based Problem Solving
Many jobs ago, I attended court-ordered mediation with other lawyers, social workers, parents, and relatives to work out plans for the safe and effective care of abused and/or neglected children. Although the subject matter and circumstances were incredibly challenging, I am grateful for the experience; it taught me that even during complex, emotionally charged situations involving multiple parties, there is a way to find common ground when the focus of the discussion is on meeting the interests of the parties, and not defending positions. I thought the conflict resolution skills would be helpful to my own life and career, so I signed up for mediator training.
I observed successful people navigate contentious meetings, salvage seemingly impossible projects, and preserve relationships because they focus on finding that common ground. Successful people practice using self-control, listening to others’ viewpoints, and asking questions to find out what values and needs of others are really at issue. Successful people use their high emotional intelligence to assure that others are heard and incorporate the needs of others into the options for consideration. They are flexible and do not approach situations with a fixed mindset – instead successful people have a growth mindset, and don’t take reasonable alternatives off the table if it will help resolve the issue in a way that everyone can live with.
The next time conflict is brewing, try de-escalating by not interrupting and giving others space to express themselves, and actively listening. Demonstrate that you are listening by repeating what the person said back to them to check your understanding. Instead of responding to resistance or hostility by adding a snappy comeback of your own, ask questions to find out the other person’s concerns, and help generate options for what could be done to address those concerns. I recommend taking conflict resolution or mediation training at work, at a local college, or community mediation organization.
You can find these resources and more on our Success Resources page.
Resources: Humble Inquiry: The Gentle Art of Asking Instead of Telling, Schein, Edgar H. (2013)
Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In; Fisher, R., Ury, R. (2011).
The Four Agreements, A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom, Ruiz, D. M. (1997).
4. Goal Setting/Planning is the foundation of achieving any goal, short-term or long-term.
Successful people set realistic short-term and long-term goals, and use these essential skills to make a plan, and keep themselves on track:
- Delayed Gratification
- Time Management
- Decision-Making
- Focus
- Prioritizing
- Self-Awareness
Goal setting is one of those skills that use multiple skills to be done well. Successful people have high self-awareness and perform self-assessments to identify areas where they need to acquire foundational skills or knowledge. Successful people make a realistic assessment of where they are now, where they want to be, and how far apart those two are and make a plan. When I attended Law School part-time, at night, I was married and had two school-age children (one was in high school – we both graduated in the same year). I was a prioritizing, decision-making, and time-management machine!
Successful people don’t just set goals, they set priorities. To attend law school after work and get all of the assignments done and also reserve time for my family, I had to evaluate other activities competing for my resources (time, brainpower, money) in terms of whether they would fit into the schedule I set for myself, and if the activity would support my goal of graduating. Successful people assess their starting point and research to figure out the resources needed to reach their endpoint. They prioritize their goals as having a high significance in their lives and use time management techniques to plan out a schedule to reach their goals. Successful people also learn to celebrate small wins along the way and are comfortable with delayed gratification. Successful people don’t need to get everything they want today and have accepted that sacrifice may be necessary to achieve their goals.
Think about goals you have achieved; they don’t have to be big goals, just goals that you have achieved. Then think about goals you haven’t been able to fulfill yet. What did you do differently when you achieved and didn’t achieve your goals? Did you make your goal the focal point of your other decisions that competed for your limited resources (time, money, brainpower? Try saying no to some activities, budget your time and money, and evaluate decisions in terms of whether they support your goals. Also, try to use the technology that we have at our fingertips to block time, set reminders, and make to-do lists to help you reach your goals.
You can find these resources and more on our Success Resources page.
Resources: One Minute For Yourself, Johnson, S. (1991).
Quick Sills: Self-Management and Goal Setting, Gordon, D. (2000)
Successful Time Management for Supervisors, Murphy, D. J. (1990).
5. Motivation is essential for focused forward momentum.
I’m sure by now you have noticed a few themes that are woven throughout the essential skills I have shared with you in this article – they generally fall under the umbrella of communication, critical thinking, and self-awareness. Motivation, however, is in a class of its own. Motivation can be a combination of these factors:
- Tenacity
- Drive
- Hustle
- Flexibility
- Intrinsic Values
Whether it is motivating myself or others, motivation is by far the hardest part of being a good leader at work and the hardest part of achieving my personal or professional goals. Motivation is like a faucet that we all have and taps into that flow freely for certain situations, and yet, stays shut off when we don’t want to do something or procrastinate. Some people can reach up and turn on their faucet with little to no help from others, while other people need a stepstool, a little push, or a kick in the ass. I think most of us go back and forth between being able to generate our motivation and needing someone or something to help us out.
Successful people are high self-motivators whose motivation comes from observation, the testimony of others, and an intrinsic need for forward motion. High self-motivators can merge confidence with competence and convert it into fuel for action and continue to move forward with or without external validation to fan the fire. Low self-motivators need more affirmation to increase confidence and competence and may need periodic external input and validation to supply their fuel for action. They handle criticism well and use criticism and feedback as fuel for improvement to propel them forward. Successful people also have a growth-oriented mindset and believe they will be successful if they try hard and invest time and effort. Successful people do not look at obstacles or setbacks with a defeatist attitude; they are optimistic about their ability to overcome challenges with hard work and effort.
To work on improving your self-motivation, focus your mind on the things you have done where you have overcome a setback, achieved a goal, handled a difficult situation, or made a plan that worked out. Keep that in your mind by saying to yourself every day – “I did that – I handled that – I made that happen and I can do this!” Thicken up your skin by seeking and accepting feedback in low-risk situations and using a suggestion or two to make a positive change. Read and watch shows about successful people and jot down their secrets to success. Associate yourself with successful and motivated people and ask them what they do to keep motivated.
You can find these resources and more on our Success Resources page.
Overcoming Personal Challenges to Achieve Professional Success, Bryant, Jennifer J. Ph.D. (2018).
The Fred Factor, Sanborn, M. (2004).
Leadership and Self-Deception, Getting Out of the Box. The Arbinger Institute. (2010).
Quick Fixes for Everyday Fears: A Practical Handbook to Overcoming 100 Stomach-Churning Fears, Clarkson, M. (2004).
Who Moved My Cheese, Johnson, Spencer, M.D. (2006).
Peaks and Valleys: Making Good and Bad Times Work for You – at Work and in Life, Johnson, Spencer, M.D. (2009).
